Way I am

just saw that movie, Rockstar;
made me think where you are
and what you are up to,
yet again I am thinking of you!

Never thought you would be ever lasting,
making me an insomniac who is fasting,
my emotions are the food, I abstain myself from,
for they can draw the pain, bring me down

Pain lingers all the time,
inside my heart undying,
it takes the shape of wicked dreams,
in those dreams, I see you scream

You try to push me but I clutch your neck,
snap it and in second you are dead,
but still you smile, fire burns in your eyes,
while I try to consume you, drink you dry.

A horrid scene, an act of evil,
in my universe, expression of lust primeval,
or maybe love, I know no difference,
If it unites us such, an impossible severence.

In that fit of blood lust, the fervent cannibalism,
Its hard to mark, where you end or I begin,
we lose our bodies to this divine entity,
in which we flow, an absolute unity.

I kill us, only to rise as one,
it seems the only way here from
what has happened and how our life is,
Never in my universe, our utopia cease to exist.

Because I know you love, dont care what you say,
You chose that course because you coudnt see a way,
where we can eff together happy and rich,
Always took you as a mean, manipulative bitch

But I aint saint, like you aint sinner,
we together, a grotesque caricature,
only you could see the real monster,
only you could relish this cerebral torture.

Damn! I dont want to be this person,
holding on to whats lost,
or past, I live in hope helplessly,
loser banking on a pathetic system.