I don't know why this comes up 3 AM,
what is the source of of this cerebral mayhem,
I make believe this is my appetence for bad,
A pretense I think, this self concept I have.
If I take you back there,
where this star gone cold,
a black hole, now here,
has this anecdote untold,
will you try to comprehend my percepts,
or will you judge me by logic of the wise.
will you open to feel the pain,
or will try to be nice?
Nevermind, this helps, when I rub it in words,
I share my darkness for selfish reason,
I take your oxygen, space and time,
while we share my cell in this mental prison.
But once there was sun shine bright,
a lad who was one with its light,
but they made him believe it aint appreciated,
so essential to life, so abundant, hence unheeded.
Year on year, he created his "dark him",
unreal it seems, how this creep-ed to brim,
and sploshed when turf changed with a shake,
he took new name, game, accent and make.
He had a past which never existed,
which did, had no reason to anyway,
He had a present, a dream come true,
Life of lie, high pace and forward sway.
It was exuberant and racy till he stopped to think,
It was a nonchalant halt but alas a chink,
and his mirrors came down crashing to floor,
you can change roles but can you change who you are?
that's when his conscience came to bite,
a vacuum which pulled him to that right
place where he made first wrong decision,
it was middle of his milky way where he saw the ensuing pattern
Of past and future and how he effed yet again,
but how was this possible? he knew, he was a new man,
pondering over this, he drank and cried,
holding on to his true lies, he wished he died.
he died indeed, must've been a long slumber,
I woke up hazy, after noon sky, me under,
while I got up, I dusted, I felt ground shake,
it cracked open, took me to this new place.
Here I know no one, no one knows me,'
so old me can be one with new me and I can be same old me,
still picking up pieces, seeking to know my true self,
and I share it with you because I am sure it helps.
A subtle confession or a moment of weakness,
I am open to your judging, know nonetheless,
one can tell many but can't feel a lie,
that urge is dead but emotion wont die.
what is the source of of this cerebral mayhem,
I make believe this is my appetence for bad,
A pretense I think, this self concept I have.
If I take you back there,
where this star gone cold,
a black hole, now here,
has this anecdote untold,
will you try to comprehend my percepts,
or will you judge me by logic of the wise.
will you open to feel the pain,
or will try to be nice?
Nevermind, this helps, when I rub it in words,
I share my darkness for selfish reason,
I take your oxygen, space and time,
while we share my cell in this mental prison.
But once there was sun shine bright,
a lad who was one with its light,
but they made him believe it aint appreciated,
so essential to life, so abundant, hence unheeded.
Year on year, he created his "dark him",
unreal it seems, how this creep-ed to brim,
and sploshed when turf changed with a shake,
he took new name, game, accent and make.
He had a past which never existed,
which did, had no reason to anyway,
He had a present, a dream come true,
Life of lie, high pace and forward sway.
It was exuberant and racy till he stopped to think,
It was a nonchalant halt but alas a chink,
and his mirrors came down crashing to floor,
you can change roles but can you change who you are?
that's when his conscience came to bite,
a vacuum which pulled him to that right
place where he made first wrong decision,
it was middle of his milky way where he saw the ensuing pattern
Of past and future and how he effed yet again,
but how was this possible? he knew, he was a new man,
pondering over this, he drank and cried,
holding on to his true lies, he wished he died.
he died indeed, must've been a long slumber,
I woke up hazy, after noon sky, me under,
while I got up, I dusted, I felt ground shake,
it cracked open, took me to this new place.
Here I know no one, no one knows me,'
so old me can be one with new me and I can be same old me,
still picking up pieces, seeking to know my true self,
and I share it with you because I am sure it helps.
A subtle confession or a moment of weakness,
I am open to your judging, know nonetheless,
one can tell many but can't feel a lie,
that urge is dead but emotion wont die.
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