Fantasy TV

how do you put behind your past
left undone, how would you last
make peace with your remnant?
how to? an obscure talent

I think of you every single day
specifically what? not easy to say
a smile somedays, wisdom on other
gleaming eyes, pain undercover

struck by magical effervesence
lonely lunatic lost worldly sense
bout of disgraceful potvaliancy
agape love was assumed pruriency

we wish to start on right foot
and end on the right one too
if only I've had that closure
if only I could get over you...

I live in a fantasy world
a subset to the tv series
in every romance or fall-out
I try to find you and me

complication of Ted and Robin
restrain of Castle and Kate
latent attraction of Elena and Damon
me in grey of love and hate

trying to find us among all these
and a happy ending to our story
like it happens in TV series
but what is a happy ending truly?

to embrace the love like Beckett
or how Stefan chose to separate
how Ted and Robin find middle thoroughfare
anxious to glean but no longer you're here

that's how we stay on hiatus
my story finds no season finale
I love you the same as time flows
lone viewer on fanciful tv alley

Little Brother

wisdom of old,
often foretold,
and also forgotten,
by young begotten,
by lesser times,
where history thine,
became story line,
they fail to divine,
meaning underlying,
old trodden paths,
where fate hath,
dealt its blows,
and time flows,
we pass it down,
to next aeon,
not critical,
be analytical,
of what I say,
of older way.

My friend

Face of life is poker-face,
I fail to read is clearly,
Keeping up with its skip and pace,
I give up wearily.

That moment I chose my vocation,
This moment its just means to an end,
The one which is my aspiration,
Is subject to my capricious bend.

Is it corporeal what I really want,
Or some obscure spiritual craving,
I spend my days nonchalant,
Love leave my heart bereaving.

No worldly bonds tie me down,
Except my sense of responsibility,
Lonesome existence in alien town,
To mask my hearts fragility.

Its potency to love is beyond intellect,
Its penchant for camaraderie is gullible,
My canny words you've come to detest,
To misconstrue they are susceptible.

Saintly human, free from all vices,
Delve deep in your conscience,
Bear with my immoral utterances,
Judge me by my actions reminiscence.

If find time do introspect,
Were you always so saintly,
If you find an instance of misconduct,
Try to forgive mine faintly.

Your contrasting principles make me sad,
I have been their for you,
Rejected soul heartache clad,
I forsake the worldly and you.

Old Rhyme

Old rhyme of old time,
came back to my mind,
all is well, I am fine,
but my heart is still thine.

This period of continuation,
must have a gestation,
post which lies divination,
of my reincarnation.

I changed world, I changed life,
I resolved, I will take a wife,
I believed I can end the strife,
of my love, which is thy fief.

I see so many,
I try to see you,
I satiate the monster,
But none it would woo.

How are you so amazing,
or was? your memory is ageing,
and it is like love of old couple,
no fiery youth, still love double.

As I change parallel,
I walk new plane,
All alteration ineffectual,
You in me is same.

I dream about you every day,
Believe me though when I say,
I try to push it every way,
Even in all loss, baggage will stay.

It feels sub-consciously,
Heart created a pseudo-reality,
In togetherness we walk endlessly,
I keep worshipping you perpetually.

Your memory must be faded,
And our moments outdated,
You wouldn't even miss it much,
Do you know I still bear that clutch?

You gave it to me in act of fun,
Now it waits and weighs a ton,
Still I cant let it be away from me,
It mattered once, held hair of thee.

I might sound corny or maybe sick,
Though I believe I can make it stick,
that I did love your hair much,
I feel them still as I grip this clutch.

Now when I can laugh at myself,
I thank you for all your help,
Still can't see through a mystery rare,
Either too much or not at all you care.

Happy Birthday

Of late I am engulfed in this strange frustration,
I believe it to be a corpus of imagination,
Of perfect life which I presumed,
and how it turned out in the end.

I will be superlative though to call it end,
I am attributing too much to the current trend,
But the way I closed first day of my year,
I can predict the future correct I fear.

As days passed by I saw it clear,
Days became months, later an year,
It changed me much on multiple level,
subdued my sense of risk and revel.

At first it was a cerebral quarantine,
But I overlooked my resilience I imagine,
At some point isolation helped me mend,
But human has unquenchable thirst to blend.

An idea keeps knocking on my head,
This lost time is lost till I am dead,
This thought creeps around my mind,
Sucks it dry like a parasitic vine.

Long days, lonely nights drive me nuts,
As I drown in ocean of If's and But's,
I crave intensely to get out of this place,
Talking to myself, proposing my case.

The way I repeat the same routine,
Just inhuman like a machine,
It leaves my heart with emptiness,
And this void gets filled with ancient sadness.

We all pay a price to grow,
Like heart is needed for blood to flow,
But I have gained this wisdom of eld,
We fill hearts with love even before blood.

Hence hope cant see me through this resentment,
To my daily drudge, my distasteful present,
Some might love to be at my place,
But its not my cup of tea, I must displace.

Some nice people around me I mean no disrespect,
For you I hold on, find my spirits at rest,
But our goals are different, yours and mine
I will have to exit, wish you stay and shine.

I have to find that place I belong,
Where my heart stirs up a joyous song,
Where my human can live life at its fullest,
Where my monster can indulge at its wickedest.

You know you are the only relief,
True joy I find even if in weeks,
Since You can be found wherever I go,
New strength I find to go with flow.

Questions

not always I fantasize of her,
oh it takes too much to touch her,
getting drunk till I cant feel my feet,
willingly surrender to this defeat,
I have been accused of this before,
as she said I was trying to feel her,
now it makes sense how it all happened,
rejected me would go to this end,
can you really say whats in my head,
is it me and you on a bed?
or maybe a broken shell of man,
holding on to his champion,
for a relief which world wont offer,
so much sealed in this coffer,
I still get drunk and think of you,
in these hallucinations I am holding you,
but how dare you doubt my intent,
didnt I prove myself better than this revilement?
what did you think when I sat all night long,
trying to protect your slumber from clang,
and commotion of bitter rail roads,
and this sleepless night goads,
was all that I was, earned shit?
yea there was a time I did opposite,
of what you expected but you did too,
you left my side in that group of spoof,
who pretended to be allies but nonetheless,
bit your back at best of their prowess,
was it not me who stayed by your side,
protected your honour to that chide,
and this is the tribute you give to me,
I have to feel guilty of this memory,
when I held you in drunken rage,
vying for judging on this cerebral stage,
I proceed with my life bearing this abomination,
you hold me shamed of this violation.

You know best

too much on my heart right now,
you say move on but dont tell how,
when I say this dont take me wrongly,
how to let go which I held so strongly,
since such a long time so well spent,
although our good memories have few dent,
nonetheless best time of my life,
never wished to end in pointless strife,
of you I just kept one view,
in world exists one like me too,
and in time of need you always come through,
like you were designed to see me through,
and I percieved you as best in women,
but had one of my own so maintained a distance,
but dysfunctional love put such huge pressure,
I got addicted to your comforting nature,
those were times when you were only escape,
rest all in life seemed in such bad shape,
my assailable heart fell for it gradually,
let go of rational and thrive on fantasy,
but we have to wake up from every dream,
unplugged from matrix not ready for ream,
a pampered child who lost his blanket,
that phase of life was such a racket,
months of gloom I missed you dearly,
but new sun dawned and I could see more clearly,
and you were still there holding on to hope,
maybe we can salvage some of this burnt crop,
you still saw the best in me,
infused me with your magical glee,
you showed me how we were so special,
and anything more would've burst this bubble,
and I cried in shame for I could not see,
you've been someone I could never be,
now I cant differ between the sun and you,
fill me with light through and through,
but nights like these I still miss you bad,
scared of relapse whenever I am sad,
guess that is me just being paranoid,
so far away yet by my side,
I feel you and on your shoulder I will rest,
beaten to dirt I'll stand at your behest.
In you I believe for you know best.