Questions

not always I fantasize of her,
oh it takes too much to touch her,
getting drunk till I cant feel my feet,
willingly surrender to this defeat,
I have been accused of this before,
as she said I was trying to feel her,
now it makes sense how it all happened,
rejected me would go to this end,
can you really say whats in my head,
is it me and you on a bed?
or maybe a broken shell of man,
holding on to his champion,
for a relief which world wont offer,
so much sealed in this coffer,
I still get drunk and think of you,
in these hallucinations I am holding you,
but how dare you doubt my intent,
didnt I prove myself better than this revilement?
what did you think when I sat all night long,
trying to protect your slumber from clang,
and commotion of bitter rail roads,
and this sleepless night goads,
was all that I was, earned shit?
yea there was a time I did opposite,
of what you expected but you did too,
you left my side in that group of spoof,
who pretended to be allies but nonetheless,
bit your back at best of their prowess,
was it not me who stayed by your side,
protected your honour to that chide,
and this is the tribute you give to me,
I have to feel guilty of this memory,
when I held you in drunken rage,
vying for judging on this cerebral stage,
I proceed with my life bearing this abomination,
you hold me shamed of this violation.