Happy Birthday

Of late I am engulfed in this strange frustration,
I believe it to be a corpus of imagination,
Of perfect life which I presumed,
and how it turned out in the end.

I will be superlative though to call it end,
I am attributing too much to the current trend,
But the way I closed first day of my year,
I can predict the future correct I fear.

As days passed by I saw it clear,
Days became months, later an year,
It changed me much on multiple level,
subdued my sense of risk and revel.

At first it was a cerebral quarantine,
But I overlooked my resilience I imagine,
At some point isolation helped me mend,
But human has unquenchable thirst to blend.

An idea keeps knocking on my head,
This lost time is lost till I am dead,
This thought creeps around my mind,
Sucks it dry like a parasitic vine.

Long days, lonely nights drive me nuts,
As I drown in ocean of If's and But's,
I crave intensely to get out of this place,
Talking to myself, proposing my case.

The way I repeat the same routine,
Just inhuman like a machine,
It leaves my heart with emptiness,
And this void gets filled with ancient sadness.

We all pay a price to grow,
Like heart is needed for blood to flow,
But I have gained this wisdom of eld,
We fill hearts with love even before blood.

Hence hope cant see me through this resentment,
To my daily drudge, my distasteful present,
Some might love to be at my place,
But its not my cup of tea, I must displace.

Some nice people around me I mean no disrespect,
For you I hold on, find my spirits at rest,
But our goals are different, yours and mine
I will have to exit, wish you stay and shine.

I have to find that place I belong,
Where my heart stirs up a joyous song,
Where my human can live life at its fullest,
Where my monster can indulge at its wickedest.

You know you are the only relief,
True joy I find even if in weeks,
Since You can be found wherever I go,
New strength I find to go with flow.