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Monday, 24 June 2013

Tell-tale

I am told I am depressed
And I fail to recognise it
I am not moving on
I even fail to hide it

I am told it is easy
To find love again
I am often hopeless
It wont lessen the pain

I am told its self induced
I harbour it and aggravate
I've concocted a hell
In my brain to immolate

I am told by some
I aim to garner pity
I operate in desperation
I tend to psychopathy

I am told I am no different
Not special in discourtesy or tact
I refuse to acknowledge mediocrity
Integral to myself as fact

I am told by many
I don't like to listen
I am told too much
I don't wish to fathom

I believed in happy endings
I was wishful as a babe
So I am plagued with obsession
My wishes are my cage

Sunday, 10 March 2013

Heartlessly


Stand out in crowd,
Most beautiful you,
False yet true,
I loved effortlessly.

We split and unite,
In our personal fight,
Over love and pride,
I argued uselessly.

A steel blade,
A diamond slate,
A heart like that,
I feared endlessly.

Your presence warm,
Kept me strong,
Under coldest storm,
I searched mindlessly.

You were away,
I lost my way,
No hope to stay,
I fell countlessly.

Nightmares end,
You came and went,
Embraced acceptance,
I slept hopelessly.

Time heals,
As time reels,
Out of grasp,
I aged listlessly.

End is near,
80th year,
Your memories flare,
I died senselessly.

Thursday, 31 January 2013

Mirror


girl you gone so bad,
often it makes me sad,
to see this abomination,
feels partly my creation,
but I over-think about it,
this bit I doubt it,
that I was there just a little much,
you were always latently such,
self image so shallow,
in ignorance you wallow,
that snap you press on hundred minds,
only to receive a few rewinds,
of fake appreciation full of lechery,
feeling content revealing your misery,
that only physicality defines you,
emptiness entwines you,
so you feel this disconnect,
these mirrors you reject,
who reflect your mistake,
that you only learned to take,
and whatever you dole out,
to assuage your ego stout,
with cognizance of your philanthropy,
you reduce it to mockery,
but who are you mocking,
have a revelation shocking,
you lose friends, gain perfumes,
with lovers gone, loneliness looms,
and that is how reality strikes,
this outward self back bites,
which was created to impress,
now a reason of distress,
readily translated to promiscuity,
you face crisis of identity,
you don't feel your true self as this,
great blight comes with ephemeral bliss,
in this dark water you peddle for hope,
and in me you find an ever present rope,
which can pull you to a distant shore,
unburden your baggage to accommodate more,
and this negativity you readily infuse,
I somehow find hard to refuse,
failing to see how your conscience operates,
takes some of me and degenerates,
and it became evident in past,
I embraced true love but you I lost,
weak heart did not let me be truthful,
till today I am remorseful,
only that you have on me,
only reason I let it be,
or maybe I feel some of you can be salvaged,
not for me though as I have envisaged,
a picture for me which none of your's express,
she came and went, her memories beyond regress,
my word-hoard exhausts to do this best,
narrate my abhorrence as I lay it at rest.

Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Soul sister


You thought it and I said it,
Every time we have made it,
One conciousness in, two bodies outer,
Hey soul sister.

That day brought you some good luck,
I felt butterflies in my stomach,
You can vouch I wasn't a beholder,
Hey soul sister.

Your silence was deafening,
I could feel my world sinking,
You cried alone all night I was a listener,
Hey soul sister.

You smiled cosmetic, sadness disguised,
I knew today I have to be by your side,
How, what and why did not matter,
Hey soul sister.

Once we carried the weight of world on our shoulder,
Few of those days we took turns for each other,
I'd be your strength but you were always stronger,
Hey soul sister.

Two people never meant to be together,
Are seldom designed to compliment each other,
But we have to embrace this anomaly of nature,
Hey soul sister.

Thursday, 6 December 2012

Fantasy TV


how do you put behind your past
left undone, how would you last
make peace with your remnant?
how to? an obscure talent

I think of you every single day
specifically what? not easy to say
a smile somedays, wisdom on other
gleaming eyes, pain undercover

struck by magical effervesence
lonely lunatic lost worldly sense
bout of disgraceful potvaliancy
agape love was assumed pruriency

we wish to start on right foot
and end on the right one too
if only I've had that closure
if only I could get over you...

I live in a fantasy world
a subset to the tv series
in every romance or fall-out
I try to find you and me

complication of Ted and Robin
restrain of Castle and Kate
latent attraction of Elena and Damon
me in grey of love and hate

trying to find us among all these
and a happy ending to our story
like it happens in TV series
but what is a happy ending truly?

to embrace the love like Beckett
or how Stefan chose to separate
how Ted and Robin find middle thoroughfare
anxious to glean but no longer you're here

that's how we stay on hiatus
my story finds no season finale
I love you the same as time flows
lone viewer on fanciful tv alley

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Little Brother


wisdom of old,
often foretold,
and also forgotten,
by young begotten,
by lesser times,
where history thine,
became story line,
they fail to divine,
meaning underlying,
old trodden paths,
where fate hath,
dealt its blows,
and time flows,
we pass it down,
to next aeon,
not critical,
be analytical,
of what I say,
of older way.

Monday, 1 October 2012

My friend


Face of life is poker-face,
I fail to read is clearly,
Keeping up with its skip and pace,
I give up wearily.

That moment I chose my vocation,
This moment its just means to an end,
The one which is my aspiration,
Is subject to my capricious bend.

Is it corporeal what I really want,
Or some obscure spiritual craving,
I spend my days nonchalant,
Love leave my heart bereaving.

No worldly bonds tie me down,
Except my sense of responsibility,
Lonesome existence in alien town,
To mask my hearts fragility.

Its potency to love is beyond intellect,
Its penchant for camaraderie is gullible,
My canny words you've come to detest,
To misconstrue they are susceptible.

Saintly human, free from all vices,
Delve deep in your conscience,
Bear with my immoral utterances,
Judge me by my actions reminiscence.

If find time do introspect,
Were you always so saintly,
If you find an instance of misconduct,
Try to forgive mine faintly.

Your contrasting principles make me sad,
I have been their for you,
Rejected soul heartache clad,
I forsake the worldly and you.