Special Friend

It is only after I am intoxicated,
My mind gives me hopes fabricated,
I am back to the world we left behind,
A lost love, a memory thine.

Believe me, the iniquitous me,
walks the earth, focussed and free,
of emotions pertaining to humankind,
but my human exists, to you its bind.

I thought the monster will take over,
and this fragile self will dissipate,
and though my best did handover,
myself to darkness, you did not abate.

me 22 kept listening to 23,
23 came and passed, nothing changed in me,
still living in regrets, still wanting you.
no love found since then, guess it left with you.

So I am in and out of love, altogether,
can only love you but you are lost forever,
hence I can give none what I dont have,
and need none, save what lust craves.

you liked my monster you perfected it too,
took my human along, filled wicked you,
but that you in me keeps me up at nights,
make me say, different ways, I miss you.

Few of you is one of my darkest,
but most of of you is most of my warmest,
so how do you expect I can move on,
when I am too sure I can find better none.

Can you still feel it like old times,
You and I think of each other same time,
but you would restrain and I would call,
and you loose it too, talk it out all.

See this I am drifting again,
back to the old memory lane,
my monster tells me it was lie and fake,
my human weeps, you in me at stake.

This eternal debate will never end,
till I find you again and comprehend,
the design of fate, you godsend
although lost, my forever friend.