Special Friend

It is only after I am intoxicated,
My mind gives me hopes fabricated,
I am back to the world we left behind,
A lost love, a memory thine.

Believe me, the iniquitous me,
walks the earth, focussed and free,
of emotions pertaining to humankind,
but my human exists, to you its bind.

I thought the monster will take over,
and this fragile self will dissipate,
and though my best did handover,
myself to darkness, you did not abate.

me 22 kept listening to 23,
23 came and passed, nothing changed in me,
still living in regrets, still wanting you.
no love found since then, guess it left with you.

So I am in and out of love, altogether,
can only love you but you are lost forever,
hence I can give none what I dont have,
and need none, save what lust craves.

you liked my monster you perfected it too,
took my human along, filled wicked you,
but that you in me keeps me up at nights,
make me say, different ways, I miss you.

Few of you is one of my darkest,
but most of of you is most of my warmest,
so how do you expect I can move on,
when I am too sure I can find better none.

Can you still feel it like old times,
You and I think of each other same time,
but you would restrain and I would call,
and you loose it too, talk it out all.

See this I am drifting again,
back to the old memory lane,
my monster tells me it was lie and fake,
my human weeps, you in me at stake.

This eternal debate will never end,
till I find you again and comprehend,
the design of fate, you godsend
although lost, my forever friend.

Old time's sake

It's been a decade and a hundred times,
when I see this movie, revel in rhymes,
a childish whim, or a sadness personal,
the movie is high school musical.

It can be so that I like the song,
but If I am so simple, you got me wrong,
I read between lines, see my self in role,
baggage of old times takes its toll.

For highschool as I imagine, it never was,
A wannabe cool kid, always  at loss
to figure out how to stand out,
and doubt always squeezed hope out.

He gave up easily, lacked all passion,
one counted amongst top, at bottom of his division,
his play lacked all style or fizz,
why this metamorphosis, one big quiz.

It lingers till today as heap of regret,
why cupid struck at such wrong moment,
for loss in love is like no other,
It was just you, others did'nt matter.

Neither social milieu nor ramification,
could deter him from having this odd imagination,
So when he gave up on her, he learnt it best,
It was then, when he gave up on rest.

It was the start of chain reaction,
that led to this sad situation,
this weight of cowardice kept him depressed,
always ruing, he should have expressed.

Till date this darkness creeps within
hence I take a movie and let me in,
with a melancholy desire to go back to past,
and it elates me enough to make me last.

And I battle my monster, a perpetual joust,
that time is gone but not all time is lost,
I can chase my dreams, make amends,
for things i gave up on, a happy end.

It just might be any other movie I like,
or a clutch of old memories on me tight,
or maybe a muse to design my future life,
concept so simple yet a cerebral strife.