Happy Verse

I lived another day,
Traversed another way,
Searching for happiness,
To create a happy verse,
Grand scheme of universe,
If I give my heart to it,
A powerfully imbued quest,
Will render desired result.

Alas another failure,
And fault is yours,
For expecting more,
When there was none,
Except the ones,
Vile or melancholy creations,
Conceived to spew venom,
Brood of my pessimism.

Man dead, Animal dead,
Poor animal, all ululated,
Who was man? nobody cared,
Every corner I set my eyes,
You are wrong, I am right,
Greater good? but who decides?
While one like me dies,
Other survives, justifies, eventually dies.

We all share same fate,
Why then pandemic hate?
No rationale as such,
We anyway don't live much,
Meeting needs of existence,
Holding unseen gods in reverence,
While world around is meaningless,
How do I create a happy verse?

Never enough

Is anything ever enough?
Vocation doesn't pay enough,
Future doesn't look good enough,
Scalp has even lesser hair,
Body needs ever more care,
I was born sharp,
But not sharp enough,
Always almost there,
Almost is never enough,
I never dreamt magnificence,
Mundane seemed quite enough,
Hoped for love, life, no regrets,
Earned some but never enough,
A life spent in chase,
Ever discontent,
Grievance in phases,
It just won't relent,
And when death came,
All senses snuffed,
Still lingered to behold my pyre,
Finality wasn't enough,
I blazed, reduced to ashes,
At least that heap of wood was enough.

Woman in Green

Day’s end, as I retire to my room,

I am struck by her herbal perfume,

Woman in green waits for me,

Burning desire to burn for me,

I am struck by her selfless love,

I caress her like a dove,

She crumbles in my embrace,

In her fragrance I revel,

Rolling up in a sheet of paper,

She smoulders to the next level,

Her kiss made me lose all sense,

Burnt in bliss, the past, future and present,

Her warmth is a new hope,

Our love aflame,

Her embrace is like smoke,

While she draws in my pain,

I drift to a different world,

I am awake as I sleep,

Holding on to my girl,

Indefinite time passes,

No better lover,

Woman in green,

She won’t stay forever,

I take care of ashen reality,

She leaves with a promise however,

Every night, she will wait for me.

EVOL

I am sick of hiding,

Often I cry inside,

I've given up the fight,

Some of me have already died,

I wonder about my purpose,

Thought of future brings dread,

What have I become?

After all this time,

Is survival my only feat?

I can’t take the way out,

Too proud to admit defeat,

I dreamt of love,

Dreams are the enemy,

I am scared to sleep.

Under the pretence of honesty,

All the lies weep,

Person in the mirror laughs at me,

What kind of existence is this?

Each one of you will love me,

But I've to let go of being myself?

For love I concede... I lie, I hide,

Some of me have already died.

Hate Speech

I've been drinking,

Getting this feeling,

Only emotion that’s left,

Is anger and hate,

And I lie to myself,

Know it fair well,

I pretend I still love you,

When I really want to kill you,

And kill all that you represent,

I am filled with resentment,

For being a weakling,

For always pretending,

That I thrive on love and faith,

When I am only filled with infinite hate.

They all went away

In the end, they all went away.

One wanted the world,

Felt she settled for less,

All of him too was never enough,

Both lived with regret.

In the end, they all went away.

One wanted the playmate,

She lived for the day,

His emotions seemed unseemly,

Mistaking love for play,

In the end, they all went away.

One wanted that who cares,

She was broken inside,

Mending his own heart,

He couldn't fill the divide,

In the end, they all went away.

One wanted reassurance,

She was the true friend,

Expectations plague this bond,

She was never convinced,

In the end, they all went away.

One wanted to look beautiful,

Truth is beauty,

Her truth was never his,

So he failed to see,

In the end, they all went away.

He was wanted in parts,

His person was never wanted,

Lost himself part by part,

None left when she departed,

In the end, they all went away.

Dementia

Why don’t you let go?

Do I really need too?

Are you in love?

Not with you!

Then why do I have to stay?

You want to go away?

Surely this is what I need,

I will agree indeed!

So you do care?

It is only fair,

Spare a straight answer?

Answers won’t matter,

You keep me intrigued,

You choose to stay belied,

Care enough to disillusion me?

I was never in love with you, never will be,

I don't like this conversation,

Suggest an appropriate deviation,

Do you wish to answer a question?

I am in tow,

Why don’t you let go?