This Moment

In my personal ability,
I intend to seek out beauty,
Beyond supeficial contemplation,
That evokes an appreciation,
For existense of this anomaly,
Your beautiful eccentricity,
Your overwhelming confusion,
Yet baffling conviction,
Like you are sure of wrong or right,
But it brings me such delight,
To unriddle your black and white,
And present to you in form extricate,
Only to surrender at this relisation,
My logic can never change your perception,
As I share my willingness to concede,
You confess you too agreed,
Although not sure on what point,
Making it a debate of different kind,
And we go about it in cricles,
Till I spot that spark ephemeral,
A manifestation of true beauty,
Unique to this personality,
Since I can't define the stimulus,
This reaction stays ambiguous,
Followed by an undefined flair,
I can see beauty everywhere,
From blemish on your skin,
To Tangles of your hair,
From fears of a girl,
To a woman's dare,
I find this beauty in you,
And I agree with you too,
I recognise fate's intent,
Though it was never meant to last,
We both deserved this moment.

Unreal

An overwhelming sadness,
A lurching madness,
Can I really pick and choose,
I love you and I hate you.

What heart wants,
To make a small jaunt,
To get near you,
And get to cheer you.

But your moods whimsical,
Demand all nonsensical,
Which means much to you,
But I fail to see through.

Further stand-off it creates,
Which our ego aggravates,
Obvious choice to break or bend,
None is ready to make amend.

My selfish way,
Makes me say,
I apologise to you again,
Which I don't really mean.

As an honest man though,
I make you understand so,
This will happen twice,
I'll hurt you and make nice.

Take that for which you can pay,
Choose to stay or move away,
Anyway it won't matter in long run,
We are, but figment of my imagination.

Crowd

Today lets go back in the time,
When I couldn't blow it off in rhyme,
You people lingered around then too,
You people had me convinced too,
That there was this need of compliance,
That my awkward existence was an annoyance,
And of course benchmark was the crowd,
Of which I always chose to stay out,
Though back then I never knew,
What crowd translates to,
That it only symbolizes mediocrity,
Which in no way is part of me,
Today I understand your anger,
I refuse to mock your failure,
In your place, I would be angry too,
I've failed yes but not as much as you,
Because you keep pushing it in my face,
All that is wrong with human race,
Particularly your miserable existence,
Is end result of my nonchalance,
I know this is how you find solace,
Elevate your self by pointing my mistakes,
It angered me initially,
Now I only feel sorry,
You've been there once for me,
Living here is impossible lonely,
So I craved for your company,
Hoping an avid camaraderie,
I assumed I had your empathy,
I realise it was futile sympathy,
Stemmed subconsciously of your inferiority,
Life is little easy when you get to patronize me,
So this is my gift to you,
I don't mind If you feel good too,
At least I can give selflessly,
You even put price to amicability,
I smoke, drink and swear earnestly,
And I can admit this with honesty,
Upon which you choose to deject me
Hence I am sure that you secretly,
See this as a incapability,
To contemplate someone like me,
Can survive this drudge so happily,
Where you fail so comprehensively,
So you try to tell me otherwise,
See me under illusion or disguise,
It makes me sad for I see you a friend,
Prejudices have blinded you to excellence,
You tell me that I am no good,
Labelled by your cipher sisterhood,
Which entirely dwells on mediocrity,
While it is plagued by jealousy and self-pity,
So I forgive you whilst you judge me,
I won't be you just because you can't be me.

Necropolis

These pictures look fake,

As much as the smiles you make,

And what would you take,

To rid me of this ache,

This goes only to come back,

To my heart straight,

To drive in a stake,

Of an infectious hate,

And I am reduced to a state,

Which you would call degenerate,

Because pain drives me crazy,

While I struggle with ‘if’ and ‘maybe’,

And I've known the kind,

Of a sound mind,

And I know what it never does,

Asks for someone's blood,

Not sure when did I start,

When my instincts begun to dart,

Towards this malicious need,

To see your kind bleed,

And let it wash over,

Seep in the soul gone sour,

I couldn't believe what I did,

Mesmerized, my lips I licked,

I swear I could feel the veins,

Pulsing life, making me insane,

Formidable lust to feel the warmth,

Of your neck, you in my arms,

I felt the love as I ripped apart,

Sense of belonging in your every part,

Such absolute unions made me cry,

Meticulously with care I bled you dry,

Breathtaking till last breath,

Most beautiful even in death,

You were dead, I lived again,

Savouring the sickness and stench,

It didn't last though I felt my skin burn,

Dawn broke and sunrise begun,

Crestfallen I struggled to get off my bed,

Get ready for another day and go back to dead.

A Defeat

There she goes trusting,
Here he is lusting,

If this relation is a lady,
It is raped already,

It is too late to save,
Only an afterthought to rave,

Like her trust matters much,
Like it ain't just paranoid fuss,

Like he fears moral authority,
Like he can fight his monstrosity,

But he is confused though denies,
Himself as two he identifies,

She is a part of his existence,
Despite a formidable resistance,

In unity they refuse to coexist,
In division they cease to exist,

In their true form as law of nature,
Of whom he believes himself truest creature,

So he overpowers to supersede,
But conscience are her seed,

Making roots on this scourged earth,
Warming up this ever cold hearth,

But her push is too covert,
And his pull is too overt,

He is seemingly an absolute winner,
Even if she holds strongly in the interior,

And only actions can be seen,
Thoughts are too hard to glean,

In his win he is aloof,
In her defeat they both lose,

An eternal dilemma of right and just,
Such is the story of love and lust.

Same Love

Memories do wonder,

Mostly we forget,

Shades we remember,

Of happiness and regret,

Today it brought former,

It was a thought,

Of our time together,

It was love I am sure,

Though we weren't lovers,

But we were in it together,

One little less, other more,

I thought you took it,

With you when you left,

Now I see you didn't,

You protected it instead,

Now I hold it dear,

I am reckless no more,

Diligent in this matter,

Love ain't a chore,

Yes I will learn more,

I will learn to love again,

But I still yearns for you,

After all, love is same,

And so the happy thought,

You are a memory of light,

Though I miss you a lot,

You make my days bright,

By little things you do,

To make me realise,

That you still remember me,

And miss me too.

Wrong Lane

Heart a spirited air-plane,
Marked to no particular destination,
Meandering through runway of life,
Again took off through a wrong lane.

A boon or bane?
Penchant for falling again,
Asked for direction to dreams,
Life pointed to the wrong lane.

Pleasure in pursuit of love,
Invites rejection's pain,
Sand castles of hope,
Always built in wrong lane.

Desires are insane,
Milieu different I am same,
My obsessions are scarce,
Only available at wrong lane.

People suspect deliberation,
A propensity to seek heart ache,
Imagine I thrive on hit and run,
Perpetrated on wrong lane.

Left-right left-right,
Left propriety rightly vain,
Parade of self restraints,
Marching off to wrong lane.

This blank ticket to future,
Once bore someone's name,
Indifferent of queue today,
I seek one in wrong lane.

Innocent twinkle in your eyes,
Intrigues me to reach for these beacons,
So beautiful yet unclear from distance,
Is it you at far end of wrong lane?