Spiderman Batman Ironman,
A recipe to be a superhero,
You gotta know what you're good at,
And add a suffix 'man'.
This got me thinking then,
What's that one thing,
I do best than the rest,
That sets me apart as a man.
Interviewing family and friends,
Introspection and meditation,
In hope to be a superhero,
I churned multiple opinions.
A source of great affliction,
Was this exercise,
To screw people's happiness,
Is my superpower it seems.
It can be a gentle humiliation,
Or asking how it feels to be blind,
It can also be an insensitive joke,
On friend's friend's last promotion.
Inquiry about periods was unintentional,
But women can't drive comment wasn't,
Size of shoes indicates size of penis,
Playing dwarf porn to the short guy was fun.
Trust me I wish to hurt no one,
But you can look at all these superheroes,
Their power isn't their design,
It's power choosing one of them.
So after much deliberation,
I settled for a fitting appellation,
Truer than either spider, bat or iron,
I will be known as Screw-You Man.
