Unreal

An overwhelming sadness,
A lurching madness,
Can I really pick and choose,
I love you and I hate you.

What heart wants,
To make a small jaunt,
To get near you,
And get to cheer you.

But your moods whimsical,
Demand all nonsensical,
Which means much to you,
But I fail to see through.

Further stand-off it creates,
Which our ego aggravates,
Obvious choice to break or bend,
None is ready to make amend.

My selfish way,
Makes me say,
I apologise to you again,
Which I don't really mean.

As an honest man though,
I make you understand so,
This will happen twice,
I'll hurt you and make nice.

Take that for which you can pay,
Choose to stay or move away,
Anyway it won't matter in long run,
We are, but figment of my imagination.

Crowd

Today lets go back in the time,
When I couldn't blow it off in rhyme,
You people lingered around then too,
You people had me convinced too,
That there was this need of compliance,
That my awkward existence was an annoyance,
And of course benchmark was the crowd,
Of which I always chose to stay out,
Though back then I never knew,
What crowd translates to,
That it only symbolizes mediocrity,
Which in no way is part of me,
Today I understand your anger,
I refuse to mock your failure,
In your place, I would be angry too,
I've failed yes but not as much as you,
Because you keep pushing it in my face,
All that is wrong with human race,
Particularly your miserable existence,
Is end result of my nonchalance,
I know this is how you find solace,
Elevate your self by pointing my mistakes,
It angered me initially,
Now I only feel sorry,
You've been there once for me,
Living here is impossible lonely,
So I craved for your company,
Hoping an avid camaraderie,
I assumed I had your empathy,
I realise it was futile sympathy,
Stemmed subconsciously of your inferiority,
Life is little easy when you get to patronize me,
So this is my gift to you,
I don't mind If you feel good too,
At least I can give selflessly,
You even put price to amicability,
I smoke, drink and swear earnestly,
And I can admit this with honesty,
Upon which you choose to deject me
Hence I am sure that you secretly,
See this as a incapability,
To contemplate someone like me,
Can survive this drudge so happily,
Where you fail so comprehensively,
So you try to tell me otherwise,
See me under illusion or disguise,
It makes me sad for I see you a friend,
Prejudices have blinded you to excellence,
You tell me that I am no good,
Labelled by your cipher sisterhood,
Which entirely dwells on mediocrity,
While it is plagued by jealousy and self-pity,
So I forgive you whilst you judge me,
I won't be you just because you can't be me.